Sunday, February 8, 2009

Riverbed gets the girl

"Before Riverbed and Cleaver had lived together for two years, when they had just met at a bookstore they both worked in, they had kissed on top of a parking lot. The next day, Riverbed told her that he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend, and they said they’d see each other again. But Cleaver stood him up again and again; he tried to communicate with her, and she wrote him a letter calling him a junky, an overgrown baby. Riverbed skipped out of town for three weeks; he bummed around Asheville, and when he returned, he had a beard and Cleaver said she was in love with him."

Buy his new poetry book, Damaged, because there's no way it's not out by now, right?

15 comments:

Mather said...

I don't believe in AIDS anymore since they took it away from the faggots. You never hear about it anymore.

Matt DiGangi said...

Sounds like something Jeff T. Kane would say, but it's also very wrong:

http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/9206096/Report:-Ex-girlfriend-sues-Alomar,-alleges-AIDS?MSNHPHMA

mather said...

That's pretty cute, but Mather never said that. You guys are really a clever bunch.

Matt DiGangi said...

I haven't matherbated in about a week, and the relief is delightful.

Mather, you came to the party uninvited and started acting belligerent right off the bat and you're wondering why nobody likes you? And worse, you keep saying that you're going to leave, but then we keep catching you trying to crawl in the bathroom window. Everybody knows that you're alleged racist/homophobe Jeff T. Kane using a fake name.

mather said...

Digangi, did you bump your head? By putting up a public page and blog, you invite the world to enter, and besides that I am certainly not wondering why "nobody" likes me. I keep coming back because it's fun seeing all the neat ways you can play on my name. Fascinating and scathing! I've never seen such a group of retarded backslappers in all my life! What a ball! And now I'm trying to "crawl" in? That doesn't even make sense. Nice metaphor! Good grief, man, I've been coming in upright, directly through the front door, honest and straightforward from the start. The ones sneaking around are the "anonymous" people and others posting messages under my name, and using names like "firecracker H2O" and other ridiculous race-horse handles. You think you're on the crest of the lit world here, but you've done nothing except act the ringleader of an incestuous backwater, a pop-culture-manic, hipper-than-thou chuckle fest. And now I'm Jeff Kane? I thought I was Madore?

andy.riverbed said...

thanks for reading.

Matt DiGangi said...

Andy Riverbed, you're my king.

mather said...

Senor Reevairbaid, de nada. Te lei tambien, y tengo que decir que tus cuentos son como el peor de Weelyam Burros y Oobairt Sailbee Hoonyor., menos la originalidad. Que tengas buen dia, el rey de Mateo.

andy.riverbed said...

pa ti, mamabicho:

te cantó una canción:

Gentes ignorantes que antes nos tenían miedo
cogen confianzas que nunca les dimos
Cobardes, que van de valientes
hablando de nosotros mal ante la gente

gestapo santiago santiago

mather said...

Que dramatico! Salud! Miras las novellas?

andy.riverbed said...

to los días.

andy.riverbed said...

I spent a long time thinking of telenovelas with the bitch singing songs instead of slapping the object of her rage across the face in every dramatic scene; or while they made passionate and adulterified love there'd be a group of men singing some type of verse acapella.

mather said...

No se que decir, fue broma, las novellas...mi novia le gustan mucho...No estan peor que CSI or otras programas en la tele american...Me gusta la musica, las mujeres, el comico obvio...Puedes ver que mi espanol es muy mal...Al Diablo Con Los Guapos, y los los escritors suaves...

andy.riverbed said...

lol; yo estaba jodiendo tambien; no estoy ofendío ni na. las telenovelas son terrible; enevrdad que la mayoría de la tele hispano es par de triste. but i think commrecial television sucks universally; even in other galaxies. thanks for reading.

ar

mather said...

No se nada de otras galaxias. You can say "thanks for reading" again if you want, but it will still sound flat and stupid.