Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Coupla classics

I'd like to do this regularly, but will probably forget.

3 Poems by Josh Olsen

2 Poems by Aaron Anstett

3 Poems by Joseph Goosey

41 comments:

andy.riverbed said...

these were very good; i hadn't read the goosies.

Spencer Troxell said...

These are all very good. Submitters, take note.

mather said...

These poems are weak, all of them. These are poems written by people who are afraid to take on life directly, and think it's more literary to try to trick you with a wacky style. These guys are stick-men dressed in fancy clothes, scarecrows that the crows figure out in about five minutes. They are dull and full of themselves. They don't reach out to people, they simply spit and wait to be admired. Anyone who applauds this kind of garbage proves only their tremendous ability and willingness to idol-worship.

Spencer Troxell said...

So, what does a good poem look like?

I don't think every poem needs to be about some deep existential issue. Does every moment of our lives have to be a Texas cage fight with eternity? Poetry can do alot of things, but it doesn't have to do them all at the same time. It doesn't all have to be picking scabs.

crackers said...

well put spencer t. there was definitely a stage of my reading where i wanted every sentence or poem to have the utmost meaning. but, i'm over that. not interested in that, perhaps. just cause you can't find the meaning of life in a verse doesn't mean it's all shit.

mather said...

It may be possible these three geniuses can write good poems, but these poems, no. Poetry can be about anything, sure, every time you fucking blink, that's a poem! Write it down! Publish it! I've blinked millions of times, it's not that interesting.

mather said...

crackers, just because life is meaningless doesn't mean we should swallow crap verse and call it great, just for the purposes of strengthening the market.

John Brown's Body (aka Spencer Troxell) said...

Well, taste in the arts is subjective of course. The best way to judge a piece of art (in my opinion) is to use Roger Ebert's method of criticism, which basically boils down to asking yourself if each piece succeeds by it's own established terms. All of the above poems don't resonate with me personally, but I think they successfully encapsulate what the writers are going for, more or less.

Spencer Troxell said...

Mathers, we're online at the same time! This is fantastic!

mather said...

My heart's racing.

mather said...

You're talking about the film critic? That's just great! What do you mean by "terms"?

Matt DiGangi said...

Somebody's all hot and mathered.

Anonymous said...

adam carolla is podcasting now, since the mother station of his syndicated radio show switched to hip-hop format.

carollaradio.com

he's hilarious. and smart. lots of personality. not like mather-blather at all.

Anonymous said...

These guys are stick-men
dressed in fancy clothes, scarecrows
that the crows
figure out
in about five minutes.
They are dull
and full of themselves.
They don't reach
out to people,
they simply spit
and wait
to be admired.
Anyone who applauds
this kind of garbage
proves only
their tremendous
ability
and willingness
to idol-
worship.

(I don't agree, but your response is poetic...)

crackers said...

haw. to everything.

jtk said...

I liked Ebert's review of Spanglish. I really enjoyed that movie.

mather said...

Where's Renaissance Joe, the butt raper? I haven't heard his cheery voice in a while.

mather said...

Troxell, every time I go to your page I get a script error message that screws me up. Maybe this is my system, I don't know, I'm not too computer savvy as you probably guessed, but still it's a problem.

renaissance jones said...

whoa whoa whoa. Hold on here, Adam Carolla's radio show is no more? That sucks.

Hi mather, you beautiful beast you.

I was wondering where I could find some of your stuff to read. I figure since you took so much time to find my stuff, read it, and then e-mail me to tell me how much it sucks (no small feat for someone so pc impaired), that you could point us in a direction to read some of your work. I imagine it has to be spectacular...

mather said...

Steve, I got some crap on the net and some good stuff too. Even I know how to google a name.

Steve Barker said...

I googled Mather and all I got was a bunch of pictures of beaver.

Anonymous said...

Strange. I got a You Tube video of a Massengil commercial...

renaissance jones said...

HA!

Maya Angelou said...

Actually, Mather is my alter ego. I get drunk sometimes during the week days and browse through lit sites telling everyone how much everything sucks.

I know why the caged bird sings motherfucker! It sings because it's insecure and needs validation! It uses its crazy birdie style to mask the fact that it's afraid to take life head on, like me, Maya Angelou.

I know why the caged bird sings, and I told it to shut the fuck up!

Maya Angelou said...

I'll fuck a little bird right in it's ass, bitch. Fuck little birds. I'm sick of their shit. All that singing makes me want to throw up. Mather Angelou, out.

renaissance jones said...

Yeah, Matherngill, I'm sure you googled "Steve Young" and went straight to my on-line stuff; those one or two (thousand) blurbs about the QB didn't deter you at all...

Really, though; give us a link. Or if you're insecure, e-mail it to me. I know you have the address.

mather said...

Give me a break, I didn't even know your name. I googled Rennaisance Jones, found some black girl and you, Steve Young, then I found the email pretty easy...I don't know how to "give us a link". If you can't find my poetry to read it then you are even slower than I thought.

renaissance jones said...

Forget the link, then. How about just the name of a pub or two? For instance, I was once in Word Riot. See, it's just that easy.

Thanks in advance, mather. I'm looking forward to the read.

mather said...

Most of my stuff has been and is in print journals, but on the net there are a few: My Favorite Bullet, Silt Reader, Rattle, Underground Voices, Wild Violet, Slipstream, Rhino, Nimrod...Soon to be in Word Riot and Laura Hird...

Anonymous said...

Die comments...Die...

crackers said...

i never really like maya angelou before.

crackers said...

mather schneider. not bad. has a clear, straight-forward style. actually reminds me of justin hyde. but not as edgy or sad.

crackers said...

haw. i like mather. he's a good poet. sort of douche on message boards... maybe it's not really him..

renaissance jones said...

well I must say I'm disappointed. I was hoping Mather's poetry would be horrible. It's not horrible. Not all of it, anyway. But that's about all I can say. In fact, I just read the stuff and have forgotten all of it already.

It's just kind of, there.

The writer of those poems has no effing business blathering how other poetry sucks. It's just not good enough. Not even close.

Comparing that writing to Justin Hyde is unconscionable, crackers. Take 2 and call me in the morning...

Mather, I realized you won when I started to respond to your BS, so this will be my last comment to you:

You e-mailed me to tell me how much I suck, and that I blatantly ripped off Bukowski. After reading your stuff, I can see why. You are obviously, and deservedly, insecure about ripping off the Buk yourself.

I grew up poor, and a bunch of the kids I knew would constantly make fun of how poor other people were. Being poor themselves, it was some kind of immature defense mechanism. You are like those kids.

I just got a rejection for some haiku, and the editor gave me a simple piece of advice for that form. I think it will help your poetry:
"...be careful not to tell all. Leave room for the reader to bring something to the poem as well."

Onward and upward TJ! Is spring break over yet? I want new content!

mather said...

Wrong, Steve, I emailed you to find out if you were going to come down to Tucson and try to stick your hand up my ass, I only criticized your work as a secondary amusement.

Good for you for putting me in my place, although I was hoping for a good razzing. Negative criticism is good for everybody but on this messageboard you get attacked by bees. Yes, I'm rude, a douche bag, ja ja, it's hard to sound nice when you're being negative.

Sure I'm paranoid about sounding like Buk. You should be too. When the main character comes up with the idea that "nothing works", that's just too much. How about "Don't try."

The advice from that editor is hardly anything new, but I think it's funny he/she made the comment concerning your haiku. How the hell do you "tell all" in a haiku?

Oh yeah, you're not going to respond, poor boy.

Anonymous said...

You girls ever see any of that dick-in-dick pornography?

mather said...

At least I put my name up against my words, anonymous. Talking to you is like talking to a ghost. Are you under the witness protection program, or what?

Anonymous said...

I teach at a conservative Christian university. If they connected my real name to dick-in-dick pornography, I could lose my tenure track. Not worth it. Post your email address and I'll email you with my identity.

mather said...

I hope you send some naked photos too: mathereider@cox.net

Anonymous said...

k also your phone number and SSN too please dear.

mather said...

Anonymous, it took me a while but I finally found some of your poems...I hate to say it but they weren't bad.